Every Man Loses His Way
by Vol lady
Summary: Nick finally brings Nancy to Stockton, but Suzanne may be leaving. Her father arrives in town determined to take her back to Denver with him, thinking that because she is unmarried he can make her come with him.
1. Chapter 1

Every Man Loses His Way

Chapter 1

November 1880

Nick made one last trip around the wagon, making sure the boxes and pieces of small furniture were secure and would not be falling off when they hit bumps in the road. His horse was tied to the back and looked a bit confused about his role – or lack of one – in this trip, but before long he idly nibbled at the shrubbery in front of Nancy's house instead.

Nick stood back for a look from a distance and was satisfied he had everything tied down securely. It was then he saw Nancy on the front porch, looking at the closed door of the house that had been hers for all of her life, but wasn't anymore.

Nick went up to the porch and put his arm around her. "It's tough, isn't it? All the memories."

"Yes," Nancy said. Then she looked at Nick. "I couldn't do any of this without you."

The tears in her eyes made Nick pull her close. "I'm glad I can help, but the hard part you've done all by yourself. Deciding to sell and make this huge move – that was a lot harder than packing up the furniture."

"Without you, I don't know if I could have made the hard decisions."

Nick lifted her chin and kissed her. "Well, no bother. I'm here. I know what a big change this is for you, but I'm here, and I'll help all I can."

"I do love you, you know."

"I love you, too," Nick said and kissed her again. "And I can't wait for you to settle in at Stockton where I can see you a lot more often."

As Nick led Nancy down to the wagon and helped her up, she said, "I hope you don't mind that I'm moving into the boarding house. It restricts our freedom a bit."

"For a while," Nick said. "But time will tell how long that lasts." After helping Nancy up, Nick climbed up beside her and took hold of the reins. He kissed her again, and asked, "Ready?"

Nancy beamed and nodded.

XXXXXXX

Heath leaned back from the table at the Pearson house and said, "Louise, that was a wonderful meal."

Suzanne smiled as she brought coffee cups to the table. "I'm taking lessons from her," she said. "Mother wasn't much on teaching me to cook. She preferred to do it herself."

"I'm looking forward to being your test subject sometime," Heath said to her and winked. _Where did I pick up that wink?_ he wondered. _I hope it didn't look too stupid._

Suzanne smiled. "Be careful what you wish for."

"The next time you come for dinner, we'll make sure Suzanne does the honors," Louise said, pouring coffee into everyone's cup.

"So, tell me, have you heard from Nick?" Suzanne asked and sat back down at the table.

"No, but we expect him and Nancy tomorrow or the next day," Heath said. "He'll get her settled into the boarding house and we'll store the things she can't take with her out at the ranch."

"I'm looking forward to meeting her," Suzanne said.

"I was thinking we'd have you both out for dinner at the ranch pretty soon," Heath said. "Jarrod and Maggie are starting to get out with J.J."

"That ought to make for a fun evening, all the women oohing and aahing over the baby," Steve Pearson said.

"Babies bring out the mothering instinct," Louise said. "And you men do your share of fussing over a baby, too."

"J.J.'s been fussed over like nobody's business," Heath said. "Sometimes he looks absolutely confused over being the center of attention. Looks at us like we're all crazy."

"Babies do have a way of looking at you like you're mad," Steve said. "And then you wonder if you are."

After more conversation and coffee, Heath invited Suzanne out for a walk, and they went out into the darkening twilight to stroll down the streets of Stockton. The gas streetlamps were beginning to come on. The soft light made for a warm, relaxing stroll.

In the weeks since they met, Heath and Suzanne found themselves growing closer and closer all the time. Suzanne rested her head on Heath's shoulder as she held his arm and they walked. Never one for idle chatter, Heath was content to stroll in companionable silence, and so was Suzanne. But after walking two or three blocks, Heath stopped and faced Suzanne. Her red hair glowed in the faint light, and without saying a word, he kissed her.

It wasn't their first kiss, but somehow this one was more intimate. Maybe it was the ambiance of the soft streetlight. Maybe it was just the companionable silence. But the first kiss was followed by a second one that lasted longer, and was more passionate.

Heath smiled a little. "Maybe that was a little too forward of me."

"No," Suzanne said quickly. "It wasn't. Not at all."

"I'm falling in love with you," Heath said.

"Are you sure?" Suzanne asked. "Are you sure it isn't all your brothers and sister falling in love around you that's making you feel that way?"

"They might have something to do with it, but you have more to do with it," Heath said. "What about you? Do you think you might fall in love with me?"

Suzanne sighed. "Yes, I think so."

Heath kissed her again, and then they fell back into walking again, in loving silence.

XXXXXXXX

Heath arrived home after ten o'clock, but Victoria was still awake, reading on the settee in the living room. As Heath came in and put his hat up, he saw her and came into the living room

"Are you waiting up for me?" he asked.

"No, not at all," Victoria said. "I thought you'd find your way home all right. How was your evening at the Pearsons?"

"Just fine," Heath said and sat down in one of the chairs facing Victoria.

"'Just fine'? That's all you can say?"

Heath smiled, a full smile and not one of his lop-sided half smiles. "No, I can say it was very, very nice."

Victoria closed her book. "I have been getting the feeling you might be falling in love with that girl."

"How would you feel about it if I was?"

"Just fine," Victoria said with a wicked smile.

Heath laughed. "She's beautiful and very sweet. I told her I was falling in love with her, and she said she was falling in love with me."

"Maybe two weddings next year?" Victoria asked with a twinkle in her eye.

"Well, let's not jump the gun."

"I'm just eager to get my children married off, now that we've started down that path. I got a letter from Eugene today."

Heath perked up. "Don't tell me."

Victoria nodded. "He's planning on coming at Christmas time and bringing his bride."

"Bride?!"

Victoria nodded again. "She wanted to be married in the church she grew up in, and I couldn't blame her for that. What with J.J. being born and Jarrod and Maggie still needing some help, he thought it was best they just go ahead and marry and come out here for Christmas. So, three down, two to go!"

Heath laughed. "I'll be darned. The kid's gone and got married. Well, I guess Nick and I are just gonna have to get moving and join the club."

"When you're ready," Victoria said. "Don't go rushing in if it isn't right."

Heath let his smile fade into one of his lop-sided grins, but his eyes lit up more. "Suzanne might be right. She might be the one."

"If she is," Victoria said, "we will all be very happy about it. AND neither you nor Nick will deny me the pleasure of a wedding here at the ranch. A big happy wedding with all the trimmings."

"Double wedding?"

"Well, we'll have to see about that. But I want whatever you want, really. As long as you're happy, I'll be ecstatic. And we'll talk about all the children you're going to have later."

Heath laughed. "Mother, be careful what you wish for."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Suzanne had found a job in a women's clothing shop in Stockton. They handled all kinds of women's clothing, for all levels of a woman's income, and so she was not surprised to be helping a farmer's wife in the morning and Victoria Barkley in the afternoon.

Victoria came in with Audra, and the two of them were immediately interested in ladies' unmentionables. Suzanne approached them immediately, smiling, saying, "Mrs. Barkley, Audra, it's so good to see you."

"Good afternoon, Suzanne," Victoria said.

"Good afternoon, Mrs. Barkley," Suzanne said. "What brings you ladies in today?"

"The usual," Audra said.

"Ah," Suzanne said and took the women to the underclothing area.

They looked through several items together before Audra decided what she wanted. Victoria also chose a couple pieces she needed, and Suzanne was accepting their payment and wrapping the packages up for them when she glanced at the movement of a well-loaded wagon out the window and saw who was driving it.

"Oh, I think Nick just went by," she said.

Victoria and Audra quickly looked around, but the wagon was already gone. "Suzanne, will you hold these things for us? We'll be back in a little while to pick them up."

"Of course," Suzanne said. "Tell Nick I said hello."

All three women knew that Nick was arriving with Nancy, and all three were excited about it. Suzanne had heard about her and was happy at the thought of making a new friend. Victoria and Audra were excited about the prospect of having a new family member.

Victoria and Audra saw the wagon stop at Mrs. Callum's boarding house. Nick was helping Nancy climb down when his mother and sister appeared beside him.

"Well, look at the welcoming committee!" Nick said and kissed both women.

"Just glad to have you home," Victoria said, and she quickly took both Nancy's hands in hers. "It's good to see you again, Nancy. Welcome to Stockton."

Nancy looked around with big eyes as Audra gave her a kiss on the cheek. "It's almost overwhelming, it's such a busy place. I'm going to need to get my city self back into place."

"I'm going to help Nancy get settled here, and then I'll bring the things out to the ranch that I told her we'd store for her," Nick said.

"Please come to dinner tonight, Nancy," Victoria said. "You'll need a few familiar faces around you for a few hours at least."

"Thank you," Nancy said. "I'd like that."

"We have shopping to finish up," Audra said, "but Carl and I would love to join everyone for dinner, if that's all right, Mother."

"Of course it is," Victoria said, then to Nancy said, "You go ahead and get situated here. We'll see you later at the house."

As Victoria and Audra left and went back to pick up their packages, Nancy watched them go, happy to run into them. This town was so busy with so many people and so many shops and so much traffic –

Nick saw that she was a bit taken aback. He took her arm. "Don't worry. You'll get on with Mrs. Callum and the ladies who live here pretty quickly. And one advantage of living at a boarding house is that you can have company when you want it and retreat to your own room when you don't want it."

"That's what I had in mind," Nancy said, and she took a deep breath. "Well, let's go in."

XXXXX

When it came time for drinks before dinner at the Barkley mansion that evening, it was a fairly full house. Audra came with Carl, Nick brought Nancy in from town, and of course, Victoria was there as well. Victoria had also invited Suzanne to come, and after they had been gathered for twenty minutes or so, Heath came in with her and introduced her to Nancy.

Nancy seemed to be holding back a bit when they met, as did Suzanne, but Victoria thought she might have been the only one to notice. Perhaps it was because Nancy had met so many people today, and Suzanne was a little uneasy because Nancy was.

Both Nancy and Suzanne seemed to stick closely to their men for a while, but soon everyone seemed to become more at ease. Maybe it was the wine and whiskey, or maybe it was just growing familiarity, but Victoria was happy to see it.

"It's been a whirlwind day," Nancy explained. "I met Mrs. Callum and three of the other women who live at the boarding house, and they all seem very nice. I did walk around town a bit, just to get oriented, but my head is still spinning."

"Do you have everything you need with you at the boarding house?" Victoria asked.

"I work at a shop for ladies' clothing," Suzanne said. "If you need anything, please come see me. We have the best selection in town."

"I'll do that," Nancy said.

Dinner was cordial and, as usual with Silas doing the cooking, very good. After they finished, everyone retired to the library, but before long Victoria shanghaied Nick, Heath and Carl to help her get some items from the attic. Of course, she didn't really need anything from the attic. It was a ruse so that the young women could have some time alone together.

It was only a few minutes after they were alone before Nancy and Suzanne – directed surreptitiously by Audra - were trading stories about how they came to Stockton. Nancy explained how her father had died just after she met Nick, and coming to Stockton was a way for her to meet more people and to see more of Nick.

"Not much different from my reason for coming," Suzanne said. "My father is still alive, but my mother died, and Father – well, he couldn't cope. I couldn't help him much. He sent me away, here to my uncle and my aunt."

"I'm sorry," Nancy said. "That had to hurt."

Suzanne nodded, her eyes going back somewhere, seeing her father maybe, or her mother, or something else. "It did hurt," she said, "and I worry about him, but he won't respond to my letters and I've just begun to feel like maybe he was right in sending me away. Maybe it was the best way for me to get over everything that's happened and get on with my own life."

"Do you miss him?" Audra asked.

"I don't know," Suzanne said. "I did at first, but I don't know. The father I knew just wasn't there anymore. Something happened to him when my mother died. He became someone I didn't know."

Audra thought back about what had happened to Jarrod when his first wife Beth died, how for a long time he was someone they didn't know. Maybe that was the way it was with men when they lost their wives. Maybe what happened to Jarrod, even though it was extreme, wasn't all that unusual. But Audra let the thoughts go. She never liked thinking about that time.

"Maybe time will heal that," Nancy said. "When my mother died, my father was lost for a while, too, but somehow it pulled us closer together, and he came back around to being the father I always knew."

"What was he like?" Audra asked.

Nancy smiled. "Full of life. Joking and laughing all the time – until he got sick, of course. He was miserable toward the end, so afraid of what would happen to me without him."

"I think he'd be proud of you," Audra said. "You've come such a long way."

"I think I have Nick to thank for helping me along with that," Nancy said. "He really is a marvelous man. Reminds me of my father in many ways."

"That's funny," Suzanne said. "In many ways, Heath reminds me of my father, before my mother died. He was quiet but smiled all the time. Doted on my mother – made her feel like a queen, she said once."

"Do you and Heath have any plans for the future?" Nancy asked.

"No, not really, not yet. But we are spending a lot of time together. Who knows?"

"Well, I for one wouldn't mind having both of you for sisters-in-law," Audra said.

And just at that moment, Victoria and the men came into the room. Carl just stopped and said, "Uh-oh. Audra is matchmaking, guys. Run for the hills."

Nick and Heath both laughed and came to stand near the women they were involved with. Carl followed along and stood behind Audra.

"Come now, Carl," Victoria said. "You can't say a little matchmaking didn't go into your marriage."

"A lot of matchmaking," Nick said. "Mother, you were planning that wedding when they were kids."

"I didn't do any matchmaking," Victoria said. "I just let nature take its course."

Carl kissed his wife on her cheek. "I think it went off course once or twice and some matchmaking set it right again."

Victoria shrugged. "Perhaps. But it's all come out right in the end."

"Definitely," Audra said.

Nick and Nancy looked at each other, almost seeming to say that they didn't think any matchmaking was going to be necessary for the two of them. Heath and Suzanne weren't quite sure yet, but they gave each other quiet smiles. Time would tell, and they would let it.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The large window of the shop where Suzanne worked allowed Suzanne to have a pretty good view of the comings and goings of various people in town. She noticed which women came and went at certain times on certain days, and she talked the owner of the shop – Mrs. Carlisle – into putting signs in the window about sales that might attract those women. It began to work after a short time, and sales went up a bit.

Mrs. Carlisle was very happy.

On a quiet Tuesday morning, Suzanne was straightening up the stock and keeping an eye out on the street for women she thought might go by when she saw someone she thought she knew. Her heart dropped into her stomach. The first thing she thought was _it can't be him._

He had ridden right by so quickly Suzanne thought that maybe she was really seeing someone else. She ran to the door and out onto the boardwalk, looking after the man, but she lost him in the traffic on the street. Trembling, she went back into the shop.

Mrs. Carlisle noticed she was shaking. "Is everything all right, Suzanne?" she asked.

"I'm not sure," Suzanne said.

"Do you need to go home?"

Suzanne debated and finally said, "Yes – maybe only for a few minutes. Do you mind?"

Mrs. Carlisle smiled. "It's quiet today. You go right on. Come back if you can."

"Thank you," Suzanne said, blubbering, and she fetched her reticule and went home.

And he was there, in the living room with her aunt and uncle, and he was arguing with her uncle. They were brothers, and they were having at it like brothers, and it was about her.

"She's coming home with me!" the man was saying.

"Father," Suzanne said right away. "I'm not going anywhere."

Daniel Pearson turned around, and the look in his eyes startled and terrified Suzanne. There was no love there, no happiness in seeing her. He was unshaven and angry and his eyes were only fire.

Suzanne backed up a step, but she said, "I'm staying here, Father. If Uncle Steve and Aunt Louise will have me."

"She stays here as long as she likes, Dan," Steve Pearson said.

Dan Pearson kept his eyes on his daughter, but they began to soften. His whole being began to relax. "Suzy," he said, much more quietly, "I need you. I can't make it on my own. I need you to come home."

Suzanne shook like a leaf, but said her peace. "Why didn't you write me? I wrote you so many letters, and you never wrote back."

"I couldn't," he said. "I didn't know what to say."

"Are you still drinking?"

"I was. I ain't had a drink in three days."

"That's not good enough, Father," Suzanne said. "And I don't want to go back with you. I like it here. You were right to send me here. It was the most right thing you ever did. Please don't ask me to undo it."

Dan Pearson turned circles for a moment, looking at Suzanne and then his brother and sister-in-law and then back at Suzanne. "I'm not leaving without you," he said.

"Dan, you best get out of here," Steve Pearson said. "Suzanne is right. Sending her here was the most right thing you ever did. She has a beau and a chance for a family and a life of her own. I won't let you take it away from her."

"A beau?" Dan asked Suzanne.

Suzanne nodded. "His name is Heath Barkley. His family is very prominent here."

"You love this boy?"

"I'm beginning to."

"Beginning to. Suzy, I DO love you, right now, and I need you right now."

"Father, you're asking too much."

"Suzy – "

"Dan, get out of here now," Steve said and moved toward his brother. "I don't want to come to blows with you over this, but I'm not gonna let you bully Suzanne into something. We know what you want from her, and she doesn't want to do it. Now you move on."

Dan Pearson looked at the people around him, and then he just left.

Suzanne crumpled but did not fall. Her aunt came and took her into her arms, saying, "Don't worry, dear. You won't have to do anything you don't want to."

Suzanne sat down in the nearest chair. All she could see now in her mind's eye was Heath. She wanted Heath. She saw her future with Heath, and not with the Father she knew now that she had lost almost all affection for. "I need Heath," she said.

XXXXXXX

It took a while for Steve Pearson to find Heath. Steve went to the Barkley mansion first, and Victoria was the only one there.

"Steve!" she said as she let him in the front door. "What a surprise. How are you?"

"Fine, Victoria, fine," he said but didn't mean it. They were just the polite words. "I need to speak with Heath. Is he here?"

"No, he and Nick are out with the herd."

"Can you tell me where to find him?"

"I can have one of the hands take you out there. Is something wrong?"

Steve sighed. "My wayward brother has turned up and he wants Suzanne to go back to Denver with him. She's none too happy about that."

"Oh, I can understand that."

Steve heaved a big sigh. "He was a good father, Victoria, but when his wife died – I don't know. He just disappeared into someone else, and he's still not come back. Sometimes I wonder – I don't know – "

Victoria thought she knew what he was saying. "That if Suzanne was with him, he'd come back to himself."

"Yeah," Steve said.

Victoria remembered. She remembered how difficult it was when her own husband died, and how her family kept her grounded. But when it happened to Jarrod, he turned away from his family and lost himself, and it took a long time and a lot of work to get him back. Maybe for men losing wives it was different. Victoria said, "I don't think Suzanne can bring her father back all by herself. I hope you're not insisting she leave."

Steve shook his head. "I won't make her do anything she doesn't want to do. I just hope I'm doing the right thing by both of them. I don't know. But right now Suzanne is asking for Heath. I better go find him."

Victoria nodded and headed for the door. "Let me get one of the hands here to take you to him."

It was only half an hour later when the hand who took Steve out to where the herd was being kept today delivered him there and returned to the main house. Steve galloped up to Heath, and as soon as he saw it, Nick headed over to him, too.

"What's going on?" Heath asked.

"Suzanne asked me to come find you," Steven said as Nick rode up. "Her father's in town."

"Her father?"

Steve nodded. "He wants her to come back to Denver with him, and she doesn't want to go. She's pretty torn up about it. She wanted me to come get you. Can you come?"

Nick nodded. "Go on. We can do without you."

Heath and Steve took off for Stockton together.

Heath tried to ask questions as they rode. When did her father come in? Had he changed any or was he still having the same problems he was having when he sent Suzanne away? Was Suzanne upset because she was turning him down or was she torn between staying and going? Steve tried to answer everything as best he could. He told Heath that she had said she wanted to stay, and Heath decided on the way to Stockton that if that was what Suzanne wanted, that was what she was going to get.

No matter what he had to do to get Dan Pearson to see it.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

When Steve and Heath arrived back in Stockton, they found Nancy Tyler had joined Suzanne and her Aunt Louise. Knowing that Nancy and Suzanne were friends – and potential sisters-in-law – Mrs. Carlisle sent for her and had her go to Suzanne's home, just in case something serious was going on there.

Suzanne was settling down by the time Steve and Heath got there, but Heath still went straight to her and took her into his arms without even a word. Suzanne broke into tears as soon as his arms were around her.

"It'll be all right," Heath said. "You're not gonna have to do anything you don't want to."

"Heath, I don't know what I want! I mean, I want to stay here, but what if I don't go and something happens to him? It would be my fault."

"No," Steve said quickly. "It would not be your fault. You just put that out of your mind. I know my brother – if he can't get himself back together after losing your mother, it's HIS fault, not yours."

"But if I could help him – "

"Suzanne, he'd want you to take care of him forever. He'd want you ruling the roost and do for him just like your mother did so that he didn't have to make any decisions. You can't do that, sweetheart."

"Your uncle's right," Heath said. "You're a grown woman. You're entitled to have a life of your own, not one saddled to your father. That's not the way things are meant to be."

"But he's in trouble – " Suzanne said.

"If he is, he got himself into it, and he'll have to get himself out of it," Steve said.

"Why don't I try to find him and talk to him?" Heath asked. "Once he sees you've started to build a life here in Stockton with me, he might change his mind."

Suzanne looked up into his eyes. This was most solid commitment Heath had ever made out loud – and more solid than any she had ever made. "You mean that?"

"Every word," Heath said. "We've started something together. I want it. I don't want him taking you away from me."

Suzanne let her forehead fall against his chest.

"I don't know where he might be, Heath," Steve said.

"I can check around," Heath said. "I'll talk to him, and if I can't get through to him, maybe I'll have my brother Jarrod read the law to him. He can't treat you like property, Suzanne. He doesn't own you."

Suzanne nodded but did not look up until Heath lifted her chin and kissed her forehead.

"What does he look like?" Heath asked.

"A lot like me, my height and build," Steve said. "He's wearing a dark shirt and pants and a brown jacket. Hasn't shaved lately. Beard's a little gray."

"Give me a little time to find him and talk to him," Heath said. "I'll come back when I have, and in the meantime, I think it's best you stay here, just in case."

"I'll go talk to Mrs. Carlisle," Nancy said, touching Suzanne's arm and giving her a smile. "I'll let her know what's going on."

Suzanne nodded. She knew there was no way she could give up what she had here – her aunt and uncle, Heath, Nancy, all of the Barkleys. This move to Stockton was the best thing that had ever happened to her. She would not give it up.

Heath kissed her forehead one more time and went out. He heaved a big sigh. He knew what he was going to do, but the first step was going to have to be finding Dan Pearson.

XXXXX

Heath tried the saloons first – thinking Pearson might head for something to drink. He found the man at the bar at the first saloon he tried – but oddly enough, the man was drinking milk, not anything alcoholic. Maybe this wasn't the right guy, but Heath stepped up next to him and asked, "Are you Dan Pearson?"

Dan Pearson looked over. "Who's asking?"

"I'm Heath Barkley."

Pearson straightened up. "You've been courting my daughter."

"If you're Dan Pearson, yeah, I have been," Heath said. "I'd like to talk to you."

"Talk away."

"I love your daughter. I don't aim to let her go easy."

"They talked to you, did they?"

Heath nodded. "Suzanne's a grown woman. You can't make her do anything she doesn't want to do."

"She's my daughter and she's unmarried," Pearson said. "She has to do what I say."

"She's not property, Mr. Pearson. She's a woman building a life of her own after you sent her away."

"I did what I thought was right then, and I intend to do it now."

"Is that a threat?"

Pearson straightened even more. He had an inch or so of height over Heath, but Heath had 20 years less in age. Pearson said, "I won't do anything illegal, but I'll get her to come home with me. You'll see."

"I won't let her go if she doesn't want to."

"She'll want to. If she doesn't, I'll get her legal."

"I don't think you can get her legal. My brother Jarrod's a lawyer. He'd tell you that."

"Listen, boy – I don't need to hear from anybody legal who's kin to you. I'll find me a real lawyer."

"You're free to, but you're gonna pay them money for the same thing Jarrod would tell you. And if you're worried him being my brother would sway him, well, I can tell you there's been more than one time he's sided with the law and against me."

"I'm supposed to believe that, am I?"

Heath thought about something else. "Your wife died and left you adrift. I know – Suzanne told me."

"What would you know about how that is?"

"Nothing. I only know it can cut a man in two. Maybe you're still in two. Maybe Suzanne can help you, but you got to do the work yourself. She can't fix you. She can't be your wife."

Pearson finally turned back to his glass of milk. "Get outta here."

"My brother Jarrod lives at a place called The Grove, on the road that heads to the Barkley ranch. Take the main road to the other end of town. He'll give you sound advice. Or you can find a lawyer in town and pay good money to be told the same thing. Up to you. But Suzanne's not going with you if she doesn't want to."

Pearson sipped his milk without comment and without looking at Heath anymore. Heath left the saloon, stopped outside and considered something – and then decided he'd better go see the sheriff.

He found Sheriff Madden in his office, about ready to go out. "Heath!" Fred Madden said. "I didn't know you were in town."

"Bit of an emergency," Heath said. "You got a minute?"

"Sure," the sheriff said. "What do you need?"

"I've been seeing Suzanne Pearson, Steve Pearson's niece. Her father sent her here a while back. He lost his wife and he couldn't handle Suzanne being with him. He went off the deep end, couldn't handle himself."

Sheriff Madden had seen it in many men before – thinking of Jarrod Barkley in particular. He nodded.

"Well, he's turned up here, wants her back."

"She's of age, isn't she?"

"Yeah, and she doesn't want to go with him, but he has it in his head that since she's not married, he can make her do whatever he wants."

"Somebody better set him straight on that."

"I tried. Didn't work. I suggested he go see Jarrod, but I don't know if he will or not. And I don't know if he's gonna try to take Suzanne against her will."

"What's he look like?"

"Like Steve with a bit of a beard, wearing dark clothes and a brown jacket. He's at the saloon across the street right now."

"I'll have a look and I'll keep an eye on him, but I won't talk to him unless he pulls something."

"That's good enough, Fred," Heath said. "Thanks."

The sheriff gave him a nod as Heath left.

Heath headed back up to the Pearson home and filled them all in on his talk with Dan Pearson and the sheriff. Suzanne still looked distraught, but Heath gathered her into his arms again. "You got a lot of people looking out for you, Suzanne. You won't get bullied into anything."

"Heath's right, honey," Steve said. "We'll make sure you get to make your own decisions on this."

Suzanne nodded. "I know what I want. I want to stay here."

"Then you will," Heath said.

He kissed her again. "I need to get back out to the herd," he said. "I'll be back this evening. Don't worry. Everything's going to be all right."

Suzanne nodded. "Be careful," she said.

Heath smiled. "Always."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Jarrod Thomas Barkley Jr., being only one month old, was all crying and eating and sleeping. His parents, being somewhat older and new at this, were a bit befuddled, especially when the crying came in the middle of the night. Maggie was pretty exhausted all the time, so Jarrod was glad he finally hired a housekeeper.

Mrs. Borland was not a live-in housekeeper, but came every morning except Sunday precisely at seven and stayed until the dinner dishes were cleaned and put away. She was a widow, about ten years older than Jarrod was. Her two children – both women – were married and moved to other towns nearby, so Mrs. Borland had a lot of time on her hands. She had worked for several families in the area, enjoyed being a housekeeper very much, and was making a comfortable living for herself doing so.

Although she was a bit on the bossy side.

Jarrod chalked it up to her being the head of her household for many years. Her husband had died of pneumonia when her daughters were very young, and she had a tendency to treat Jarrod and Maggie as if they were her children rather than adults raising their own child. Jarrod habitually left his coffee cups wherever he was sitting when he finished the coffee, which meant Mrs. Borland was finding them everywhere, including the bathroom and the nursery. She was constantly after him to carry them to the kitchen, and he was constantly forgetting to do so. Maggie was constantly reminded that she was leaving hairpins within the baby's reach – Mrs. Borland was afraid that once J. J. began grabbing, the pins would be one of his first targets and Maggie needed to break the habit before that came about.

But Jarrod and Maggie could put up with that, and secretly, they were each hoping Mrs. Borland would break the other of the habit as soon as possible.

It was midday and they had just finished lunch. Maggie was going to rock J.J. for a nap, and Jarrod planned to dig into some contracts Nick had brought by when he heard a horse ride up to the house. Mrs. Borland, who was washing the dishes, headed for the door, but Jarrod said, "Let me get it, Mrs. Borland." He was a little cautious about who might be riding up.

Jarrod went out on the porch and found a stranger there, dismounted and tethering his horse. The two ranch hands that lived here full time now had been working in the barn and were coming out.

Jarrod said, "Good afternoon."

"Afternoon," the man said. "My name is Daniel Pearson. I'm looking for Jarrod Barkley."

Jarrod immediately associated the Pearson name with Suzanne and her aunt and uncle, but he didn't know who this man was to them, if anyone. He waved the ranch hands off to go back to whatever they were doing. "That's me. What can I do for you?"

The man stayed at the bottom of the steps to the porch. "I'm Suzanne Pearson's father."

Jarrod looked a bit surprised. He didn't know, and he didn't expect, that Suzanne's father would turn up here. From the way she described him, Jarrod expected he would curl up in a hole in Denver and stay there. "How can I help you?"

"Your brother said I should come talk to you," Pearson said. "About my daughter. About me wanting to take her home."

"Oh," Jarrod said. He thought a second and then said, "Wait here just a moment." Jarrod poked his head inside the door and told Mrs. Borland he'd be outside for a few minutes, then he came down to where Pearson stood. "Let's talk over by the corral," Jarrod said and led the man over there.

All of their horses were in the corral. They all approached the fence, expecting a treat from Jarrod. To get them to leave them be, Jarrod gave each one a cube of sugar from his pocket. They wandered off as Jarrod leaned an elbow on the top rail of the fence.

"What exactly did my brother say I could help you with?" Jarrod asked.

"I want my daughter to come home with me to Denver," Pearson said. "She doesn't want to come. I want to know if I can make her come."

Jarrod shook his head. "Do you trust me to tell you the truth about that?"

"I don't know. I expect you'll side with Suzanne wanting to stay here, but your brother said you'd bucked him before on legal stuff."

"Well," Jarrod said, smiling at what Heath had said, "I can tell you how the law sees it and I'll be honest with you. Suzanne's of age. She can go where she wants, when she wants."

"How can that be?" Pearson said. "I'm her father."

"She's not your property, Mr. Pearson," Jarrod said. "You can't make her do anything."

Pearson gave a huff and looked around, angry, and to Jarrod's eye, a good bit lost. He knew from talking to Heath and Suzanne that Pearson's wife had died and he was at loose ends ever since. It occurred to Jarrod that maybe there was some other way he could talk to Pearson.

Jarrod said, "You lost your wife not long ago, didn't you?"

Pearson looked at him. "What's that got to do with it?"

"Legally, nothing, but otherwise maybe everything. Maybe legal advice isn't what my brother sent you here for."

Pearson looked perplexed.

Jarrod said, "I know when a man loses his wife, he can fall off into the abyss."

"The what?" Pearson asked.

"The deep end," Jarrod said.

"What you would know about it?"

Jarrod was not all that willing to be open about his own experience, but on the other hand, the fact that he'd fallen wasn't any big dark secret. "I lost my first wife shortly after we were married. I fell off that deep end. Maybe Heath wanted me to try to help you with that."

"I don't need any help about that," Pearson said and started to leave.

Jarrod said, "I know what's happening to you, even if you don't."

Pearson stopped and turned around. "What do you mean? I don't know what I'm doing?"

"What you want to try to do, you can't legally do, so maybe you better be looking at something else. Maybe you ought to be looking at yourself, about what's happened to you. Every man who loses his wife loses his way, at least for a while. You have to climb out of the pit. Before you can ask Suzanne to come back into your life, you have to look at yourself and ask why you want her. Do you want her to be the wife you lost? She can't do that, and you can't make her do it. Do you want her to pull you out of that pit you're in? Maybe she can help, but she can't do it for you."

"What the hell are you trying to say to me?" Pearson interrupted.

Jarrod realized he was probably being too esoteric. He tried to simplify. "You have to look at yourself, your life, and see where you are. Your wife is gone and she isn't coming back. You fell off the deep end and into the pit. You have to pull yourself out. Suzanne can help, but she can't take over and do it for you. You have to do it."

Pearson looked like he understood that and was thinking about it.

Jarrod said, "Are you drinking more since your wife died? Have you shut yourself off from the people you used to know? Are you washing your dishes and cleaning your clothes and all those sorts of things or are you letting them pile up? You're the only one who can put your life back together. You can't expect Suzanne to do it for you. She's a grown woman, and she's putting her own life together. Remember, she lost her mother when you lost your wife."

Pearson shook his head. "I didn't come here for that. I came for you to tell me how to get my daughter to come home."

"If she doesn't want to come home, you can't make her. If you can clean yourself up, get your life back together – maybe there'll be a place for you in her life, but you can't force it. Legally or otherwise."

Pearson just turned away, walked back to his horse, and rode out.

Jarrod sighed. He wasn't sure what had just happened, or what was supposed to happen, but he was pretty sure he hadn't helped either Pearson, his daughter or Heath in any way.

Jarrod went back into the house and told Maggie and Mrs. Borland that he had to go to see his brother Heath for a short while. Maggie had just put J.J. in the cradle and was coming out of the nursery. She kissed her husband and told him to be careful, and Jarrod went out to saddle his horse.

XXXXXXX

It was good to ride in the brisk November air, and it didn't take long to get where Jarrod knew the main herd was this time of year. He found Nick and Heath fairly quickly. They were pretty surprised to see him.

Jarrod was breathing a bit heavier than he'd like when he pulled up to his brothers. "I need to talk to you, Heath," he said and took some deep breaths to get things back together.

"Pearson?" Heath asked.

Jarrod nodded. "He just came to see me."

Heath nodded his head in the direction away from the herd and pulled his horse over that way. Jarrod followed. Nick quickly realized this conversation wasn't for his ears, so he went back to herding cattle, knowing Heath would probably tell him about it later.

Heath noticed Jarrod was still breathing hard. "You all right, Jarrod?"

Jarrod nodded. "Fine. I don't think I got anywhere with Pearson, though. Why did you want him to see me?"

"He said something to Suzanne about forcing her to come back to Denver with her. She was still his daughter and still his property and he'd get a lawyer to get her back. I knew you'd tell him that wouldn't work."

"Well, I did, but I don't think it satisfied him," Jarrod said. "I also tried to tell him that when you lose a wife, you're not thinking straight for a while. I tried to get him to understand that I knew what I was talking about. I don't think it made any difference."

Heath was alarmed. "You don't think he'd do anything dangerous, like abducting her?"

Jarrod shook his head. "I don't know. Do you want me to go see the sheriff?"

Heath shook his head. "I already did, but I better talk to Suzanne's father again. If he's gonna try anything, he'll try it fast."

"Wait," Jarrod said before Heath could ride off. "Let me get Nick and we'll go with you."

"Follow me," Heath said and took off for Stockton.

Jarrod rode quickly down to the herd and to where Nick was watching things from a distance. Nick met him halfway when he saw he was coming.

"We gotta get to Stockton," was all Jarrod said, and he and Nick took off.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Heath rode into town less than an hour later and headed straight for the Pearson home. He'd hardly knocked before Steve let him in.

"Is everything all right?" Heath asked.

Louise was in the kitchen and came in as soon as she heard Heath's voice. "It's fine. Suzanne is upstairs napping."

"What's happened?" Steve asked.

"Her father went to see Jarrod, and Jarrod didn't tell him what he wanted to hear," Heath said. "I started to worry."

"Dan hasn't been back here," Steve said.

"I guess I'm just worrying for nothing," Heath said.

"What did Jarrod say?"

"That he couldn't legally force Suzanne to go back to Denver with him. I ought to go find him and talk to him again."

"Maybe you best leave things be for now," Steve said. "My brother has a thick skull. The harder you try to get through it, the thicker it gets."

"But I'm worried he might try to take Suzanne by force," Heath said. "I can't let that happen."

"And neither will we," Louise said. "Steve, maybe you ought to try talking to him again."

Steve shook his head. "Not today. Trust me on this. Push him too hard, and he'll push back."

"How would you feel about me sleeping on your sofa tonight?" Heath asked. "Just in case."

Steve looked at Louise, and when she nodded, Steve did.

It was then Suzanne came downstairs. She didn't like the looks on the faces of the people she saw. "What?" she asked. "What's happened?"

"Nothing, darling, nothing's happened," Louise said.

"I just got a little worried," Heath said. "Jarrod told your father the law wouldn't let him take you away."

Suzanne looked frightened, but the fear in her eyes hardened into resolve pretty quickly. "So you're afraid he might try to abduct me. I won't let him."

Heath came over to the bottom of the stairs. "WE won't let him." Then he smiled. "I'm spending the night on your sofa."

That made Suzanne smile. "Silver lining."

XXXXXXXX

Jarrod and Nick followed Heath into town, but they went to the sheriff's office. They thought Heath might be there, and worried when he wasn't.

The sheriff was there. He looked a little puzzled when the Barkley brothers came in. "What's going on?" he asked.

"Suzanne Pearson's father," Jarrod said. "He came to see me, asking about his legal rights to take Suzanne away. He didn't like it much when I told him there was no legal way for him to do it."

"Do you know this guy?" Nick asked.

Sheriff Madden nodded. "I know him to see him. I found him yesterday. Haven't seen him today."

"Have you seen Heath? He rode in ahead of us."

"No, I haven't."

"He might be over at the Pearsons'," Jarrod said.

"You worried her father might try to abduct her since he can't get her legally?" the sheriff asked.

Both Barkleys nodded.

"Why don't you go see if Heath is at the Pearsons'?" the sheriff said. "I'll go see if I can track down the father. Maybe we can keep him away from the girl."

The Barkleys nodded and again and went out, the sheriff right behind them.

Jarrod and Nick were relieved to find Heath's horse tethered in front of the Pearson house. Having left their horses at the sheriff's office, they went up onto the porch and knocked.

Steve Pearson came to the door and opened it to them. "Well, looks like we're full of Barkleys today."

Jarrod and Nick were both relieved that the man sounded relaxed. They went in and found Heath at the kitchen table, drinking coffee, with Suzanne sitting there with him.

"We went to see Sheriff Madden," Jarrod said. "He's going to see if he can find Suzanne's father and keep an eye on him."

"I hope there's no confrontation," Steve said. "My brother has a very stiff will."

"I'm gonna stay here tonight," Heath said. "Seems to me if Dan Pearson's gonna do anything, it'll be tonight."

"I don't think he will," Steve said, "but Suzanne will feel better if Heath is here."

"What do you want us to do?" Nick asked.

Heath said, "I don't think there's anything to do unless Dan makes a move."

Jarrod said, "We'll find Fred, let him know you're here." Then he gave a smile to Suzanne. "I'm sure everything will be all right. Your father didn't like what I told him, but I don't think he's going to get dangerous about it."

"I don't know," Suzanne said. "He's changed so much since my mother died."

Jarrod nodded, lowering his gaze. "Losing a wife can change a man drastically. It might take him a while to come back around."

"We'll head on home after we find Fred," Nick said.

They said their good-byes and headed back outside to look for the sheriff, but suddenly Suzanne came running out the door after them. Heath was right behind her, but he stopped in the doorway at a spot where he could see her. When she called Jarrod, he stopped there.

Jarrod and Nick, down in the street, stopped and turned.

"Jarrod, may I talk to you about what you said to my father?" Suzanne asked.

Jarrod nodded.

"I'll go find Fred," Nick said and kept walking.

Jarrod came back up onto the porch. There were two rocking chairs there. "Why don't we sit down?"

As they sat, Suzanne cast a look at Heath. "Do you want me to wait inside?" Heath asked.

"No," Suzanne said. "Would you stay?"

Heath came out all the way and closed the door. With no other chair available, he sat down on the porch, resting his legs on the steps down to the street.

Suzanne turned toward Jarrod. "Did you talk to my father at all about what's happening to him, about how he's taking my mother's death?"

"Just a bit," Jarrod said. "I tried to explain that a man can fall of the deep end when he loses his wife, and it takes a lot of work to climb back out of the pit."

Suzanne hesitated to say what she wanted to say next. She tried to figure out how to do it. "I wanted to talk to him about it, before he sent me away, but I couldn't get through. He always kept saying that I just didn't understand. But I've heard – I know that you do understand."

Jarrod nodded a little. "I didn't get into much detail about myself when I talked to him. He's a stranger, and it's tough for me to talk about my experience with anyone, much less strangers."

Suzanne looked at Heath, her eyes asking if she should ask Jarrod what she really wanted to ask. Heath looked unsure.

Suzanne looked back at Jarrod. "Would you try to talk to him again? I know it's asking a lot and I know it's reopening a wound, but I know my father. He's feeling completely alone and that's why he's trying to grab me. He's drowning, and he's trying to grab me to keep from drowning. But I can't save him. Only someone who's been there can even begin to save him."

Jarrod looked up at her. She had tears filling her eyes, unshed but there. He looked over at Heath, who looked back at him for a moment but then hung his head.

Jarrod wasn't sure what to do. He wanted to help, but to talk about something as deeply personal as his fight with grief and his battle to return to normalcy, to talk about that with a complete stranger was something he really didn't want to do.

But he decided. He put his hand atop Suzanne's on the arm of her rocker and nodded. "I'll try. I'll go find him now and I'll try."

Suzanne leaned over and kissed Jarrod on the cheek. Heath looked back up at his brother. He knew Suzanne had asked for a lot, and he was so grateful that Jarrod would try to do this for her. He didn't know how to express it except through his eyes.

Jarrod smiled a little at his younger brother, thinking, _Pappy to the rescue again._


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Jarrod caught up with Nick where their horses were tethered, and he saw the sheriff coming toward Nick just as he was. The sheriff said, "I found him in the saloon across from the café. He's just sitting there and drinking milk."

"Did you say anything to him?" Nick asked.

"No. I don't know if he even saw me."

"I told Suzanne I'd talk to him again," Jarrod said.

"What?" Nick asked, alarmed. "It didn't help much the first time."

"She asked me to talk to him about my experience when Beth died," Jarrod said. "She thought he was trying to get her back because he was feeling so alone. She thought maybe if I talked to him about myself, he wouldn't feel so alone. How could I turn down those eyes?"

"Up to you, Jarrod," the sheriff said.

"But I'm gonna be sticking around until you're done," Nick said.

"All right, but don't come into the saloon, either one of you," Jarrod said. "I don't want him feeling like he's being ganged up on."

"All right," Nick agreed.

Jarrod turned and walked toward the saloon where Dan Pearson was.

Nick and Sheriff Madden watched him. "I don't know if he's the bravest man I know or the stupidest," Nick said.

"Most of the men I know have been both at the same time once or twice in their lives," the sheriff said. "Where will you be?"

"Near the saloon, by the barber shop. There's a chair or two out there."

"I'll hover around that end of town for a while," the sheriff said.

They nodded to each other and started down the street.

XXXXXXX

Jarrod went into the saloon and immediately spotted Dan Pearson, sitting alone at a table in the back. Since it was still only afternoon, the place was not that crowded. Jarrod asked for a beer from the bartender, and then he walked over to Pearson.

Pearson looked up at him. "Mind if I join you?" Jarrod asked.

Pearson hesitated, but then nodded toward an empty chair.

Jarrod sat down, wondering how he was going to open this conversation. He took his hat off and put it on the table. He finally said, "I spoke to your daughter a little while ago. She asked me to talk to you about something."

"We already talked," Pearson said.

"This is something else. She's worried about you."

Pearson snorted a laugh.

Jarrod looked hard at him. "What I'm about to tell you is something she knew would be difficult for me. It's not about the law. It's about how you fall off into that pit I was telling you about. She asked me to tell you more about the time I fell off. She knows how hard that is for me to talk about. She wouldn't have asked that of me if she didn't love you very much."

"If she loved me, she'd come home," Pearson said.

Jarrod raised his hand. "Just listen to me for five minutes or so. Do it for her."

Pearson backed off, giving one short nod.

Jarrod took a deep breath. "My first wife's name was Beth. We were married for a very short time before she was shot dead by a man who was trying to kill me but hit her instead. That pit I've talked to you about – I fell off and I fell off hard, even harder than you've fallen. I left my family and even slugged my brother to get away and go after the man who killed her."

"Why didn't you turn to the law?"

"I did, but there was no proof to go after her killer with. But I knew. I knew he did it, and there was no stopping me. I intended to kill him, and I intended to hang for it. I turned into a man I didn't even know. I brutalized people, beat them up, threatened them, did everything I needed to do while I was tracking the man down. I didn't eat, I didn't sleep, and when I finally got near him, he shot me. Left me for dead in the road. When I woke up, I couldn't even stand, but I made it to my horse and passed out in the saddle, but I kept going. I kept going until I found him in a jail cell in this ramshackle town. I bribed the sheriff to let him out so I could kill him, and I got to him, and I was killing him with my bare hands, drowning him in a watering trough."

Jarrod began to strangle and drown an imaginary man only he could see in front of him. His eyes took on that dark, angry look that had been with him for all those days he tracked Cass Hyatt.

Then Jarrod realized he'd gone too far back in his own experience. He had to come out again. He let his hands fall, and he looked up at Pearson and realized where he was. He smiled a somewhat sheepish grin. "Well – it took my brothers tearing me off him, it took me threatening even to kill them, before I realized I was down in that pit. I had fallen so hard and so deep that I didn't even know where I was until I held my brothers at the point of my gun."

Pearson looked at him, riveted by his story, and Jarrod saw that he was making the connection that Suzanne had wanted him to make. He kept going.

"I damaged myself so much that I nearly killed myself right then and there," Jarrod said. "I so totally ruined myself that I AM killing myself even now because I damaged my heart. Suzanne doesn't want that to happen to you. She loves you. But she can't go back to Denver with you, and you can't ask her to pull you out of that pit. You've got to climb out yourself. I did it. I got out of my pit, and I got my family back. I found a new wife and I have a new son, and even if what I did has damaged my life and is cutting it short, it's a good life that I built by climbing out of that pit and rejoining my family. If I did it, you can do it. Are you following me?"

Pearson looked down at his glass of milk and nodded slowly. "I just – love my daughter so much, and I sent her away."

"You sent her to a good life," Jarrod said. "She's happy here. She's in love with my brother, and he loves her. They'll probably marry and give you grandchildren."

Pearson looked up. "Grandchildren?"

Jarrod smiled. "It's pretty likely."

Pearson looked down at his milk again. "How do I climb out of my hole?"

Jarrod pointed to the glass of milk. "Looks to me like you've started."

"I haven't had a drink in days. I didn't want Suzanne to see me drinking."

"Keep doing that. Keep putting Suzanne first. I know that sounds crazy, but when you put someone you love ahead of yourself, you're climbing out of that pit."

"She wrote me a lot. I never wrote back. I couldn't."

"Now you can. If you go home without her, you're not going alone. She loves you, Dan. You're not alone."

Pearson drank some of his milk. "Do you think she'd see me?"

"Are you going to be threatening to her?"

He shook his head. "No. I'm done trying to get her to go home with me. You're right. She comes first, and if she's happy here, I want her to stay here."

Pearson finished his milk and stood up. Jarrod stood up with him. "If I go to her with you, I think she'll see you."

Pearson nodded. "Let's go."

They walked out together and headed toward the Pearson home. Both Nick and Sheriff Madden saw them, and they looked at each other, a little suspicious and a lot surprised. Nick got up from his chair at the barbershop, and Sheriff Madden joined him and walked toward the Pearson home, well behind Jarrod and Dan Pearson.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

As Jarrod and Dan Pearson approached the Pearson home, Heath spotted them coming and came to the door. He stood firmly in the doorway, but when he saw the look in Jarrod's eyes, and the look in Dan's eyes, he understood that somehow Jarrod had gotten through to him.

"I wanna see my daughter," Pearson said. "It don't have to be alone. I just want to say good-bye."

Steve had come up behind Heath and heard what his brother had to say. He looked over his shoulder at Suzanne standing a few feet behind him. She had heard her father, and she nodded. "Come on in," Steve said.

Heath backed out of the doorway, and Dan went up the stairs and inside. Jarrod stayed out in the street, but Heath went back inside with the Pearsons.

Nick and Sheriff Madden came up to join Jarrod in the street in front of the house. Jarrod was letting a deep sigh go as Nick put a hand on his shoulder. "Looks like you made some progress," Nick said.

"We'll see," Jarrod said. But then, he suddenly fell back against his brother, grabbing his chest. "Oh, Jeez – "

"Jarrod? Jarrod!"

Jarrod quickly got a handy little devil pill out of the bottle he kept in the inside pocket of his jacket and put it under his tongue. Nick held onto him, and he didn't fall, but Nick and the sheriff exchanged frightened looks.

"I'm all right," Jarrod said. "I'm all right."

"In a few minutes, maybe," Nick said. He was trembling more than Jarrod was.

Inside, Dan Pearson did not go very far into the house, but stood looking at his daughter. His eyes were different now. There was a softness that hadn't been there before. Heath stayed to Dan's side by a few feet, and Steve stayed the other side just as far away. Louise stood close beside Suzanne.

Suzanne said, "You're leaving."

Dan nodded. "I'm going on home on the next train. I'm sorry for scaring you and trying to make you leave here. If you're happy here, I want you to stay."

"I am happy here," Suzanne said.

Dan nodded. "Then I'll be going home without you."

Suzanne said, "Will you answer my letters if I write?"

Dan smiled. "Yeah, I will, I promise this time. And I've already sworn off drinking. I won't be doing that anymore."

Suzanne stepped forward and put her arms around her father, a little reluctantly, but less so when he put his arms around her.

"You're doing the right thing, Dan," Steve said.

"I know," Dan Pearson said to his brother.

When Dan left the house, he found the sheriff and the Barkley brothers still waiting for him. Something looked wrong – Nick Barkley had a hold of Jarrod Barkley, like he was going to fall, but as soon as Jarrod saw Dan, he got his legs under him and stood up straight. Dan came to them and said, "I'm going to go to the train depot and get a ticket home."

Jarrod nodded to him. Dan looked from one man to another, and then walked on to the train depot.

"You okay?" Nick asked his brother.

Jarrod said, "I am now. Let's go home."

XXXXXXX

Heath and Suzanne saw her father off at the train station, only an hour later. Suzanne even kissed him good-bye, and Heath could have sworn he saw the man begin to cry. But then Dan Pearson got onto the train, and he was on his way back to Denver.

By then it was nearly six o'clock in the evening. Heath said, "You've had a really rough day. What do you say I take you to Cattleman's for a nice, relaxing dinner?"

"I'd better tell my aunt and uncle," Suzanne said.

"I already did," Heath said, smiling.

Suzanne put her arms around him, and he held her close. "I think my father's going to be okay."

"I think he is, too," Heath said. "Pappy must have given him a good talking to."

Suzanne laughed and pulled away. "Your family must love you very much."

Heath nodded. He knew they did.

XXXXXXX

Jarrod came into his home feeling weary but good. His wife came into his arms even before the door closed. He could smell the roast beef and carrots and potatoes that Mrs. Borland was making, and from the nursery came the beginnings of a cry that said J.J. was hungry.

On his way home, he couldn't help thinking about the state he was in when his brothers brought him home from Rimfire and the debacle he'd made of his life. That seemed like someone else's life, and maybe it was, because now his life was completely turned around.

Except for the dammed angina attacks. He wondered whether to tell Maggie about having another one in town. He decided not to.

"Have I told you how much I love you?" he whispered into Maggie's ear.

Maggie whispered back, "Yes, but don't stop. Your heart gave you trouble today?"

Jarrod smiled a little. "How did you know?"

Maggie smiled. "You forget, I always know, my love. You're all right?"

"I'm fine," Jarrod said. "I helped a lost soul today. I'm better than fine."

XXXXXXX

Since there was no need for him to stay with the Pearsons, Heath wandered on home after enjoying a wonderful dinner with Suzanne. With everything that had happened today, he knew he would collapse as soon as he got within a hundred yards of his bed, but as he entered the house, he found Victoria and Nick were still up.

"Well, you're home," Nick said, getting up from the game of solitaire he was playing on the coffee table.

Victoria was on the settee, reading a book. "We stayed up for you. We just assumed you'd be coming home tonight since Suzanne's father left."

"So he is gone, is he?" Nick asked.

Heath nodded. "He made his peace with Suzanne and her aunt and uncle and decided he'd go on home. But he promised he'd answer letters now, so maybe things will work out for that family. I hope so, anyway."

"I guess Jarrod found the right words," Nick said. "Heath – it cost him."

"What do you mean?" Heath asked.

"Not just talking about something that really cuts him deep. After Pearson went into the house, Jarrod had an angina attack."

Heath looked stricken.

"He's all right," Nick said quickly. "Scared the devil out of Fred Madden, though."

"And you?" Victoria asked.

Nick had to admit it. He nodded. "And me."

"You're still worried we might have inherited the same problem," Heath said. "Ain't no use worrying about it, Nick."

"I'm not exactly worried about it. It just – it's tough to watch it happen to him. If it happens to me, okay, I'll live with it like he is, but it's tough watching it happen to him, and it makes me wonder."

Heath nodded. "I get what you're saying. It tore me up too what I first saw it happen to him last year. But I'm not gonna let what might happen ruin what I got right now, especially since he did so much today to make sure I had it."

"What do you mean?" Victoria asked.

Heath smiled a little. "I want to ask Suzanne to marry me, maybe ask her at Christmastime."

Victoria popped up from the settee, putting her book down and running to Heath. He took her in his arms, grinning from ear to ear. When she backed off a little, Nick grabbed Heath's hand, grinning, and said, "I'm really happy for you, boy."

Victoria said. "But just remember, I want the wedding here, all the trimmings."

"I think Suzanne will have some say in that," Heath said.

"Oh, of course, but I'm sure she'll agree. Oh, Audra and I will have so much to do – invitations to get out, food to arrange for – "

"Mother, I haven't even asked her yet," Heath said.

"A formality," Victoria said, and went right on with her list of what needed to be done.

Heath smiled at his brother and his mother. He knew he was lucky to have found this family, his family. He hoped that everything was going to work out between Suzanne and her father. He wanted her to have that solidity, that comfort of family around her. He knew it would take work, but he wanted to be there beside her to do that work.

All she had to do was say yes. Heath knew she would.

The End


End file.
